My woman is in love with her ex-husband

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 years old and I have a woman who has two children for me. When we first met, she was married but on the verge of getting a divorce.

We rented a place and now live together. We decided to start over. The children I had before I met this woman stayed with their mother. This woman and her husband did not have children. Our relationship was going well for about a year, but then she started to come home very late from work.

I found out that she was having a relationship with one of the supervisors; he is younger than I am. I told her to cut that out and I offered to pick her up from work, but she said that was not necessary.

I checked her phone and the text I saw in there made me uncomfortable. No man should be sending a woman this type of text unless something is going on. She cursed me and told me that I did not have any right to search her phone. One of the texts is from her ex-husband; he was inviting her out for lunch. This woman accepted the invitation and went out with him.

She said that, although they are divorced, they can always be friends. But, should that date end up in a hotel? That is where her ex-husband took her that day and I am really upset about it. She does not pay any bills in the house; I pay everything. So, why should I be living with this woman?

When I try to make love to her, she lies down on the bed dead and I have to be doing everything. I want to find a younger woman who would make me feel as if I am a man. I don't understand how suddenly her ex-husband and her are such good friends. She is always talking about him, and she told me that she should not have divorced him.

R.

Dear R.,

Perhaps the woman with whom you are living is seriously considering going back to her ex-husband.

She has declared that she regrets divorcing him. Looking back, she feels that she has made a mistake. You feel that you, too, have made a mistake. If a man's woman will not even respond to him in bed, it is a clear indication that she doesn't care for him. She doesn't want him. Why should an ex-wife go on a date to a hotel with her ex-husband? Even if it was a casual date, John Public would not look at it that way.

The whole thing is suspicious because she has declared that she made a mistake by divorcing this man. It does not appear to me that the relationship both of you are having is good. Therefore you probably should consider bringing this relationship to an end. Have you considered asking this woman to go with you to see a family counsellor? Perhaps that is what you should do and that is how I see it.

Pastor