My dad was the village ram

Dear Pastor,

While I was attending high school, one of the girls in my class and I were from the same community and people used to say that she was my sister.

She was not very good looking, so I did not like when people associated me with her. But she was very bright. I talked to my mother about it and she said that she believed that the girl was my sister because my father and the girl's mother were very good friends. People told her that they used to see them together at parties. After my mother told me what she heard and what she believed, I stopped treating the girl as a stranger. I used to give her things from our home such as mangoes and cherries.

When I was 18 years old, I worked up enough courage to ask my father if the girl was his child and he said people say that she is, and he has never doubted it. I asked him why he didn't tell us; he said he did not have to because he knows that one day all of us would find out. He did not hide anything from my mother. He also said that he has sons that we do not know about, so I should be careful who I date. He has many children and he does not know all their names. So from that day, I always question whoever wants to date me about their father's name and their background. My father is 70 years old and it was only one year ago that he married my mother.

My mother loves this man so much, but my father was very wild. Since getting married, he has joined a church and is an usher. My father has more than 13 children that we know about.

I have two children, and my first child's father is 60 years old. That man respected me. The first time we had sex, he told me that my father was a good man to his children, so he was willing to do anything he could do to help my father's children. I asked him if that meant having sex with my me and he laughed and said that is all in the game.

A better man, I could not have found. He gave my daughter everything that she needed to go to school, and he never held back any money I needed. I do not have a son, but if I do, I wouldn't want him to be as wild as my father. I do not want any more children.

I still want to have my own hairdressing business, and the father of my first child has promised to help me. My other daughter's father is very mean, so I do not ask him for anything.

T.

Dear T.,

I am glad that your father has settled down. Your mother was always very much in love with him.

She knew that he was a wild man who had many girlfriends, but she stayed with him. I am assuming that she knew how to protect herself to avoid catching any type of sexual transmitted infection from him. It is true that a man can run as far as he is able, but he must stop, and your father has eventually stopped from having numerous women.

Your first child's father was about the same age as your biological father, evidently you wanted a much older man in your life, so you got him. You think highly of this man because he has supported your daughter very well. Even now he continues to support her and you.

You said that you want to be a hairdresser. I hope that it is not only in your mind, but you have gone for training. If you have not done so as yet, I recommend that you go to HEART/NSTA Trust as soon as possible. I am sorry to hear that the father of your other child does not help much. Keep strong. Try your best to purchase a house and to help your parents.

Pastor